What Hurts The Most
by Pyro Psychotic
Summary: Rated T Summary: He had to leave but he also left behind children and a lover. Part One: Mother, Part Two: Daughter, Part Three: Father. Fear is unpredictable, what can't it do? a little angsty. OCs and u guess the father and mother. Epilogue soon!
1. What am I going to do?

A oneshot: 3-4 parts. I wanted to get this up so i could concentrate on WYG and Captivity when i get my flashdrive back(stupid memory). so read, review and i'll see ya when the next chapters of WYG and Captivity are done.

* * *

What Hurts The Most: Part 1

As he runs, he leaves it all behind.

His love,

His children,

Everything.

Part of him doesn't want to leave,

but the conscious part,

The fearful part

Knows that if he doesn't, they'll kill

his love and children and that can't be allowed.

He knows in an hour his love will awaken and

see the note, become enraged and sad as they read

but hopefully not wanting to find him.

Because if they do, it's all over.

Even though he knows it'll hurt later,

It's for the best now.

He may return but

for now he's long gone.

Gone from that house of love and joy onto the cold and heartless streets.

As he sprints from town, a final phrase is

lifted by the whisper of wind to the ears of his youngest, a daughter.

A final gesture of love from her fleeting mother.

"Ai Shiteru, Mitsukai."

Then, he was gone.

* * *

I hope enjoyed that. It was a drabble started in my Phy Sci Chem class and it evolved into three, possibly four, parts all telling this story. The inspiration for this is What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts along with other love and angsty songs. I guess you could call this a songfic but i don't know. I seem to start writing a story because of music and then i can't ever finish it(points to my published multi-chaps and the over thirty fanfics on various flashdrives, other computers and ravaged pieces of paper). Well, as always let me know what you think in a review and also let me know if i should post the second part that's almost done(10-15 lines left). XD Bye!!!

-PP


	2. Where'd you go, Mom?

Here's part 2. This one is a transition between 1 and 3 so it will be long, about my normal chapter length. I'll have Part 3 up soon.

Disclaimer: I only own the characters of Mitsukai, Jade and Jace. Nothing else.

I want to respond to a review left for part one by pink-cherry-005: thnks for reviewing! XD i'm glad you got the mother! i hope you'll review this part also. Sincerly, Pyro Psychotic

I also hope all the rest of you will review, don't be silent.

* * *

My deep sleep was disturbed

by the creaking of my door.

I thought it was Jace, climbing in with me because of a nightmare.

But it wasn't.

My mother was my visitor.

I was wondering why until he sat

my sleepy form up and leaned my against his frail chest.

My instinct was that he just wanted to talk.

Boy, was I wrong.

"Kai? Are you awake?" Tentative, not normal.

My mom's usually very strong and outgoing, not this shy and shaking person holding me.

"Mitsukai, if you're awake, listen to me.

I have to go away for awhile, but I don't know what day or if I'll ever be back.

Will you take care of your father for me?

He'll need you for awhile."

I snapped awake at the end. He sounded so...broken.

"Where are you going, Momma?"

I was suddenly alert, but I knew I couldn't make my mom stay.

"I don't know sweetie. I just have to."

And Momma, for the first time since Jace and Jade were born, cried.

I knew he had to leave.

I reached up, as a five year old, to wipe away the tears.

He kissed my forehead, laid me back down and left.

I heard the front door open and slam shut.

As I watched the black cloaked form of

my mom run up the small lane and into town,

I felt sad that he wouldn't be able to see the twins grow up.

The whisper of wind was blowing, lightly tossing leaves as I saw my mom pause on the high hill outside of town and see his lips move with silent words

till they reached me.

"Ai Shiteru, Mistukai."

Then he ran until I could no longer see him.

I turned from my open window to my digital clock that glared "4:30 a.m." in neon red letters.

I knew my father would be up in an hour.

Not wanting to see him when he first got up, I tried to sleep, but no luck.

Rather then trying again, I went to visit the twins in their room.

I opened the door, knowing one of the them was awake

Jace's neon green eyes latched onto me as I approached.

She was holding onto the front gate of her crib,

swaying as she tried to stand.

Golden curls fell onto her shoulders where they ended in red tips.

She knew something was wrong, I could tell.

Picking her up , I walked over to Jade's crib on the other side of the small room.

Jade's red spikes alert me that she's trying to wake up.

Balancing Jace on my right hip, I leaned over and snatched the groggy, blue-eyed 11 month old and fastened her to my left hip.

I swayed side to side, trying to lull them back to sleep, but Jace refused.

I carefully laid out a puffy blanket, sky blue with purple and yellow stars.

I set them down on opposite sides and left the room, cracking the door so I could hear them.

I walk down the hall to the kitchen, quietly grabbing and warming two bottles of formula.

I also snatched a dry bowl of cereal, for later, wanting to avoid my dad as the time drew nearer.

Walking back to the room, I looked down at the blanket to see Jade curled up asleep and Jace nowhere to be seen.

I started to panic, thinking maybe she went to go see Mom.

As I go over a checklist of all the places she could be, a giggle bursts out across the hall.

My room!

Of course she'd scamper in there.

Wrapping Jade in the blanket like the filling of a burrito, I stepped across the hall, carefully balancing Jade, cereal and bottles of formula, into my slightly messy room, spying Jace giggling from the top of her teddy bear ramp onto my bed.

I swear she's part monkey.

Unwrapping Jade, I make a little nest on my bed in front of my now closed window for the two to watch the sunrise as we always do every morning.

As Jace sits in the blanket nest, she points to the far away hill, where our mother said goodbye to me, cocking her head to the side, a puzzling expression adoring her chubby face.

"Momma? _Nani_?"

I beam, but it soon sinks.

My sister's first words are about my mom instead of to him.

"I don't know where Momma went Jace, but maybe he'll come back sometime soon. Or maybe not at all."

I hated having to tell my sister this, but she probably didn't understand me anyway.

Again, I was wrong.

"I sawry Momma weft."

Her intelligence and understanding amazed me, but she's Mom's daughter, so no real surprise there.

I smiled, wrapped my arm around her and sighed deeply while looking to the rising sun.

The flaming ball of reds, oranges, yellows  
and pinks swirled low in the sky, slowly rising to

take it's rightful place as king of the heavens.

This peaceful serenity, however, was quickly shattered by the savage drawn out howl of my now dangerous father.

He must have found the note Momma most likely left.

* * *

I hope you liked that. Ai shiteru= I love you. Nani=huh or why or something like that. My friend named Mitsukai. I drew her and it may be up on my deviantart soon. Review and I again really hoped you liked it. XD


	3. Am I the reason you left?

Hey People! This the 3rd part of What Hurts The Most. The first part of the epilogue will be up no later than today.

Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable characters from Kingdom Hearts. If i did, I wouldn't be writing this on a site called **FAN**fiction(.)net! I do, however, own Mitsukai, Drakxus, Kiron, Jace and Jade and any other OC's that may appear. My brother and friend own the names Drakxus and Mitsukai, respectively. Don't use my OC's without asking.

I may add another chapter that will be profiles for everyone who appears in this fic, but only if you people really want it. Read and enjoy! I can has reviews?

* * *

A siren is wailing.

A splash of red hair moves as a lanky, pale log of flesh shoots out of the covers to quiet the wail.

"Uuggh, Roxas, why did ya hafta set it so early?"

When no answer came, the disgruntled figure tried again.

"Roxas, ya there? Roxas?"

When he again received no answer, he shot up

and stared at his lover's side of the bed, pristinely made like always.

Well that was a relief!

Roxas had just gotten up before him, probably to take care of the twins.

He was right, since he heard Roxas in the kitchen.

Deciding to join him, the figure slid out of bed, fished a black t-shirt with red checker border and a pair of loose blue jeans from the pile at the bottom of his closet, sauntered into the bathroom, attempted to tame his wild, red spikes and dressed.

He stepped out of the bathroom, neon emeralds alight with fire and mirth.

Being nice to Roxas for once, he made his side of the bed.

Making waves in the top comforter to smooth it out, a white envelope jumped into the air, fluttering on to the floor.

Curious he picked it up, noticing his name scrawled neatly on the front.

Pulling open the flap, he tugged out a piece of paper.

Gently unfolding it, he began to read.

Dear Axel,

First, I would like to say that I'm sorry.

Sorry that I didn't tell you the truth right from the beginning.

But that's what this letter is about.

Remember when I told I used to be in a gang?

I told you they let me go.

That's not true. I ran out on them.

They would have me scope out the targets and then stay behind

when it went down, so no one could connect the gang to it.

One time, however, I secretly tagged along, just to see what it was like.

When the police arrived, a bystander told them that he remembered seeing me

at previous targets days before they were hit.

When our leader was arrested, they told him this.

After he was released, (they couldn't connect him to any of the targets)

he came after me.

He beat me bloody, saying I had almost gotten the gang

caught with my "fucking duck-brained stupidity."

You remember that day as when I came over bleeding and close to passing out.

When you asked what happened, I told you that I had tripped and fallen

while walking around town, then got sideswiped by a car mirror

and sent skidding along the road.

You told me to be more careful

while bandaging my injuries and kissing each one in turn.

I stayed the night at your insistence

and we had a wonderful time, my first out of love.

The next morning, I left before you awoke.

I went to the leader, demanding that I could leave.

He laughed at me and ordered the gang to "beat the rat outta the snake."

When they were done, he ordered them to leave and proceeded to rape me, over

and over for what felt like hours.

As I was fading in and out of consciousness, I remember him snickering

and tossing me luckily on your doorstep.

I was lying there three hours before you decided to come find me.

You kicked me when you opened your door.

I remember through half-lidded eyes your shock and disbelief.

You asked me what happened, but I barely caught it.

Once I could speak, I told you that I had gotten into a fight with some guys

because they found out I was gay.

You believed me, every single lie.

Soon after, we moved away to a small town where they didn't care what we were.

We've been living here for 7 years now.

We have 5 wonderfully beautiful children and I won't be here to see Jade and Jace

grow up into fine young ladies.

Now for the reason I left.

The gang has been hunting me since the day we left.

My friend Demyx, who still talks to the leader, told me that my old leader

has been looking non-stop for me and I know he won't stop till he finds me.

So in order for you and the kids to be protected, I left.

I don't know if I'll ever come back but if I never do, tell the kids I love them and I'm sorry.

Goodbye and good night, my dearest love.

Ai Shiteru for all eternity,

Roxas.

A primal howl ripped its way out of his throat.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

It couldn't be!It's not true!

He couldn't believe it! How could Roxas leave!

Didn't he remember that Axel was the **leader** of a gang when he was only **11**?

Apparently not, it seems.

As the letter crumbled into an unrecognizable mass, he contemplated going after him.

But then he remembered he still had the children to watch and care for.

Resentment was growing deep in him, spreading like wildfire, infecting and destroying all it touched.

Bitterly, he thought 'At least, **I **will **never** abandon my children.'

He left his room, wandering to the kids' section of the house.

Hearing giggling, his curiosity had him looking in Mitsukai's room to see all of his daughters awake, well except for Jade of course.

Walking in carefully, he gathered his three daughters in a protective but shaking behind hug.

Mitsukai started but was unable to say anything as her dad had left as swift and silently as he came.

He walked across the hall into the boys' room.

He lightly kissed Kiron's forehead and tucked him in before descending the dark stairs hidden in the corner.

He noticed that Drakxus had fallen asleep reading again, for the only light in the dark basement-like room was the lamp next to a sleeping 7 year old with blood red hair divided by a lemon yellow streak and glaringly blue eyes that beautifully accented face and hair while piercing your soul.

Smiling proudly, Axel gently pulled the book from Drak's hands.

He set it on the table behind his head, kissed his forehead gently and tucked him in.

He ascended the stairs and strode back to his room,

Pride strong on his face.

As soon as his door swung shut however, his proud and joyous demeanor broke, a mirror struck with five hammers at once, a dam that could no longer hold its massive burden.

He fell on the floor, knees and legs supporting him like pillars of Jell-O.

He laid there, silent waterfalls cascading from his eyes and pooling around his head.

Mitsukai found him 7 hours later, still like that, tears free-flowing from his eyes.

He still hasn't got over it, not completely.


End file.
